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Problem solving homestead chores, homeschooling  and trying to keep your sanity while figuring out who the fuck you are takes coffee, a wicked sense of humor and a hell of a lot of patience. Whether you are dealing with overproofed sourdough, a lesson gone horribly wrong , or just trying to keep tiny sassholes alive while still trying to like your partner; you are not alone. Take everything with a grain of salt, reach out for support, and share your own messy truths with us.

Relationships are hard; why does no one fuckin talk about it?!

Lately, I've been in my head A LOT; surprise, surprise, about putting my own little family first. And NO ONE talks about it! How am I supposed to put my family first, and put me first and make sure my family's feelings aren't hurt, and make sure my friends feel loved and ensure I'm still present for my child and my partner...and, and, and. 

Are you fucking kidding me?! As a woman, I have been  trained SO well by society to look a certain way, act a certain way, be confident...but not too confident, Be proud of who you are, unless who you are isn't someone to be proud of. Put your family first, but work, but make sure no one around you ever feels uncomfortable and make sure I worded things "just so" to that new client to avoid any type of negative interaction, and going over and over that same conversation with a dude you met 10 years ago in a Walmart line, because WHY DID I SAY THAT?!

I thought this was completely normal, because no one talks about that fight within yourself. That fight and drive to put your family first, but also worry you are simultaneously letting your bigger family down.  I thought dysfunction was normal and I thought second guessing and questioning every decision I ever make, was normal. I felt like I needed approval from everyone around me, like I was incapable of making a good decision for myself and my daughter. I would often ask my mom, my sister, a girl friend. 

So why as a mother did I feel incompetent? Because no one talks about that constant pull and stress you feel to somehow still appease your family, no matter what direction your life takes you. That little girl in you still desperately wants the approval of "that" person in your life. You know the one I'm talking about, the one who always made you feel not enough, like you had to earn their affection. Whatever that looks like to you, as we all experience it differently.

It took my boyfriend pointing it out to me, that I MAKE GOOD DECISIONS and I AM a GOOD MOM! What?!  But I don't have the right approval, right? Or do I? Do I need the approval of anyone outside of these 4 walls? Aside from the 2 people who are in my life every single day and support and love me unconditionally? 

No the fuck I don't! I can have a home that I feel safe and comfortable in, my home doesn't have to be spotless for me to be worthy of a break, I don't have to be the perfectly groomed mom that shows up with a full face of makeup at 8am, and I don't have to hate my body because I'm plus sized because I don't look like "What I should look like,"  I can raise my child how I see fit, I can be messy and I am worthy of being loved. 

So next time you're second guessing your worth, your decision making ability or gauging your loveability on what you can do for others. I want you to think "Fuck it! What do I want?! What works for ME and MY FAMILY?! At the end of the day, your children and your partner that you choose every single day are the only people who's opinion matters. 

I can be the disheveled mom who shows up 7.8 minutes late to dance class with horse shit on my boots and sweat on my brow with alfalfa smeared all over my shirt. But, I can also be a bad ass bitch who shows up sharp on time to a job interview looking all done up. Both versions are me and both versions are allowed.

Do I still have days where I question if that's the right choice? Hell yea I do, but I also know that I am capable and loveable just as me. 

Common dilemmas and real answers

Here are some of the most frequent questions, hilarious slip-ups, and genuine quandaries moms share from the homestead trenches. We answer reader questions directly right here, break them down in upcoming blog posts, and leave the floor open for everyone to chime in with their own tried-and-true survival tips.

Why does my sourdough starter look like a science experiment gone wrong?

Sourdough is far less complicated than so many people make it, complicated does NOT equal better. Follow me and ask questions for problem solving to find out why your sourdough looks like something out of the Black Lagoon. 

How do I survive chaotic homeschool days when no one wants to fuckin listen?

We try again tomorrow! Find an engaging activity for your child to learn the concept you're trying to teach and leave it at that. Even if you just research a lesson online for the following day; you didn't do nothing!

Can I submit an anonymous question or funny story?

Shoot me an email at funnyfarmmama.06@gmail.com Share a hilarious chicken coop disaster or ask a sensitive parenting question, I will keep your identity private and share the advice you need.... or at least fuckin try!

How do you actually manage balancing family life without losing your mind?

I decided that having a happy, healthy home was more important to me than getting shit done. We don't scream, we talk things through and if I have to drop the ball on something to make my life a bit easier or to accomplish a task that HAS to be done, then that's what I do. 

Where will my submitted questions and stories be answered?

I answer directly in the comment sections, publish Q&A updates, and turn the most relatable dilemmas into blog posts so everyone can learn and laugh at my bullshit. 

What if my homestead setup is tiny and messy?

We don't do perfect, I live in town limits and my setup is not fancy, expensive or magazine worthy; but it works for us! Our chicken coop is made 90% from free pallets and extra dog crates, our garden is a raised garden boxes lined with hopes, dreams and horse shit. I don't have a massive acreage, I outsource my horse boarding and go out every single day to do farm chores. I don't have a village, I have me, my boyfriend and a LOT of coffee.

How can other moms share their best survival hacks here?

Join the conversation in the comments below any post, or send in your favourite hacks directly. Community is what keeps us all sane, and social media is horrific for showing only the "good". No one's life is perfect and the sooner we stop faking it and start supporting each other through the tough shit, the sooner we stop comparing ourselves to an unachievable standard. 

What should I remember on the days everything goes sideways?

Fuck it! Seriously, you are one person! You cannot hold everything together with stubbornness and will power; ask me how I know. You take a "me" day, ask someone for help and you try again tomorrow. 

Share your story or ask a question

Mama, I see you and I see your struggles. I see you trying to keep your shit together while falling apart on the inside. I see you comparing yourself to the families who go on vacation 3 times a year, who have the "inhumanly perfect" partner, and I'm here to tell you; that does NOT exist. Everyone struggles and no one has the picture perfect life they portray. We are here to support each other through the good and the bad. Share your story, ask a question or shoot me an email and I can ask your question or share your advice anonymously!